HOW MUCH IS GOD WORTH?
It’s rather odd, but the most transformative things in life are often then things we feel we can live without. Most of us in America can agree that we don’t mind doing simple math, but if we have to help our children learn algebra or trigonometry, we are first in line to hire a tutor. Though that simple skill is not a requirement to make it through life, it cannot be questioned how much it aids in the life of those who do learn it. Whether it helps them breeze through classes in college or helps them budget, it proves to be beneficial in the long run.
An old mentor once told me, the things that we struggle with show up everywhere in our lives. For example, you may not just be stubborn in one situation, but you may carry stubbornness through different parts of your life. Whether being fixed to a certain routine or being the great debater in every conversation, stubbornness may seem to pop up throughout your life as a character trait more than as a situational occurrence.
If we take the above into our spiritual lives, you may find a correlation in finding the complexities of spiritual things less useful than other quickly learned and applicable things. Though there is no doubt that there is value in knowing the complexities, many of us are more interested in learning from a scholar than becoming one. Or, in another scenario, many might rather ask God to change their heart posture for them, than to ask God to give them understanding.
While there are occurrences that God will remove the taste from one’s mouth for those ungodly things or cause them to be uncomfortable in normally comfortable spaces through the Holy Ghost, this is not everyone’s story. In fact, in my own life, God has tested my obedience through silence and what I would consider him “not answering” or not convicting me. So now what? Do we give in and throw in the towel? Do we run to follow someone else’s path or example? Do we stumble and fall? Do we meet disappointment and depression? These are all options, but how about we really just try?
I am currently in an uncomfortable position. God is causing me to lean solely on him. I asked that God change my heart posture, and nothing. I asked that God give mentorship so that I can learn in a “safe” environment, and nothing. I asked that God give me a yearning for him, and nothing.
Am I missing something? Am I not saved? Has the Holy Spirit ran from me? NO. But just as any good Father or any good teacher, God is causing me to really try. He is causing me to study my word and show myself approved (2 Tim. 2:15). He is causing me to hide the word in my heart that I might not sin against God (Psa. 119:11). He is causing me to love him through following his commands (John 14:21). If I am honest, He already told me what to do. For once, God didn’t give me a loophole to do majority of what he asked. It’s all or nothing. In this time of figuring things out, which has been a few months, He didn’t kick me out of his presence or cause me to have shame. Instead, He consistently shows me that He is still here, but He also said what He said.
I have often been in situations I can “bs” my way through (for lack of a better word, feel free to recommend better words for me). I may not be Karen Clark Sheard, but I can Kiki my way through whatever it is. Sometimes it is exactly what God wants, other times it’s completely different, and often it’s acceptable but not perfect. This time God is showing me that it is time to be both intentional and precise in what I offer to God as obedience. Is it uncomfortable, yes, but is it necessary, 100%.
We often easily give up on things that take more effort than we are willing to give. Asking God to change me (do all the work), instead of asking God to transform my mind (walk with me through the process), has nothing to do with the joy of the Lord and everything to do with lack of effort. There is nothing wrong with asking, don’t get me wrong, but if and when he says no, our response will show which intention we had. My reaction showed my laziness in diligence and my ease in offering God less than He is worth.
If you love God, love him. As the Bible says, we do this with our whole heart (which means mind, leading to our actions) (Mark 12:30).
